


I do it like they do it but I do it on drugs

by LyzHatesPears



Category: Gravity Falls, Rick and Morty
Genre: I have no idea how to tag I'm sorry, I mean it's like the seventies so..., M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, inspired by a fewjar song (you shoud go check them out), sort of prison AU but then again every Rick and Morty story is or was an AU, teen!stanchez, the famous colombian prison
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-01-01 05:04:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18329183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyzHatesPears/pseuds/LyzHatesPears





	1. 1

He didn't want to leave.  
A few months back he would've done almost anything to finally go, to finally walk free again, maybe start a new life somewhere else, where the government wasn't bothered by him building all kinds of things in his backyard, where he maybe could sell some of his ideas to make a living, instead of having to earn money with his cracklab and other dubious things in his grandparent's basement. He'd even thought of some of his inventions to be boring and harmless enough for normal people, so he could sell them until he was finished with his portal gun, but no, he didn't want that anymore.  
Yes, he wanted that portal gun, in fact he needed it even more now than when he got in, but what he really wanted right now, was to go straight back into this particular prison for another six months.  
The scent of his boyfriend coming from the jacket he had borrowed was the last reminder, that everything thad had happened in this prison hadn't all just been a dream, something his fucked up mind had made up to prevent him from becoming even more insane.  
_"I love you" Lee had whispered in his ear, while putting his jacket around Rick's shoulders._  
_"In six months, when I get out, you better have this portal thing of yours working, and then we'll rule the universe. You and me, together."_  
Rick had just stood there and said nothing. He couldn't believe that this was actually happening, that he, Rick Sanchez, known head of one of the biggest dealing circles of Colombia, got out of prison earlier that the gringo he fell in love with, who was in for nothing more but a bit of shoplifting, only because he, Rick was underage.  
Now he stood there, in front of the prison, not knowing what to do.  
That was, until he heard an all to familiar voice calling out for him:  
"Rick! Why haven't you answered my calls? You're lucky we got engaged after I got pregnant, otherwise the police wouldn't have told me you were released today!"  
Diane, his pregnant girlfr- no. His wife and the mother of his daughter Elisabeth was running towards him, excitedly waving.  
It hadn't exactly been his choice, marrying her, and as to his daughter, he hadn't even been given the choice, otherwise she most definitely wouldn't be stuck with that horrible name. It sounded way too old and too Queen-ish, but maybe he only thought of it that way because of his time in prison. Hell, these glorious months with Lee made him almost forget about their existence!  
Well, this was going to take some time and a lot of explaining.  
All in all rather unhappy about her sudden appearence, he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before approaching his hopefully soon to be ex-wife and greeted her with a forced smile.  
"Hey there, sweetie. Where's Beth?" he tried to ignore the fact that Diane rolled her eyes at him using a nickname for his own damn child.  
"At home, a friend of mine is babysitting her. And before you say anything, yes, it is safe for her, she's old enough to be left alone for a few hours, as you've been gone for two goddamn years!"  
Although he didn't really know anything about toddlers and if it's ok for them to just be with a babysitter, he tried to fake a relieved sight.  
"Okay, well, listen, I think there's something we should talk about-"  
"Yeah, I know you missed me, and I booked a hotel room, so we can spend your first night in freedom properly, just the two of us..." she winked inappropriately, and, although Rick usually thought of her as a one-night stand gone wrong, he kind of felt sorry for her being visibly happy about his release, so he decided to make it quick.  
"Listen, I've met someone."  
He could see all the happiness and excitement literally falling off her face.  
"What? Why would you say that? And how... this is a man's prison, there are no women in there..."  
"Yes, I know. And I think you understand what I'm playing at. It's over, I'm sorry."  
he really was. He never had liked her very much, but now that he saw how much it hurt her, he suddenly realised how much she had cared for him. She had started to cry, but as he tried to comfort her, she slapped his hand away and stumbled a few steps back.  
"Don't you touch me! Don't you come anywhere near me!" she sobbed, red with anger and disgust now.  
"You're a faggot! A mistake! I should've known, oh god I should've... How can you live with yourself? This is wrong, you... You are wrong! I hope that other queer gave you Aids, and both of you... Just go to hell!"  
Every last drop of sympathy he had felt for her left immediately. He knew she strongly believed in a god - one of the reasons why they fought so often - but he never thouht it to be that problematic.  
Not knowing what to do or how to respond to that he walked away. He thought of hitchhiking to the next proper city, as he couldn't exactly ask Diane for a ride, but decided against it, and started walking to the house of his grandparents, as he still had the spare key, planning to pack his science stuff, or more like what the cops had left unharmed, and then leave.  
He didn't need a home or food or anything right now. All he needed was Lee, and there were only two ways to get him:  
He could either go back to prison for another six months, or he could get him out.  
Waiting for his partner for an additional six months was out of the question, as he could barely take these 2 hours he hadn't seen him.  
How he was supposed to survive for the next few days, maybe weeks it would take for him to build that portal gun was another mystery, and he wasn't exactly looking forward to solving it.  
He tried to shove all the tools he'd need into his small backpack, took all the money he could find and ran into the woods.  
It felt good to finally run again, and he couldn't wait for Lee to run alongside him.  
_The most annoying thing about prison, Rick thought, was the daily exercise._  
_He had been in for a little more than a year now, and still he lost his breath after about 40 seconds of jogging in circles._  
_His lungs, no, his whole body felt like it was burning up from the inside, and he started shaking and seeing black dots all over his vision._  
_Maybe he should eat something today, but the cold turkey was really getting him, had been for months._  
_Maybe he should welcome this breakdown as an opportunity to finally escape this torture..._  
_"Hey uuh... you don't look so good. Well, I mean, you are good looking and everything but... Well... Are you ok? Are you hurt?"_  
_He felt a strong arm helping him up and pulling him close, stabilising him on his legs. He tried to look up, to see who he was dealing with and why they were talking english to him._  
_He hadn't heard anyone talking english to him since his wife had called him to tell him about his daughter's first birthday._  
_"Hello? do you understand me? Uhm... no habla español... Sorry about that... I'm Stanley, or Stan, if you like... uhm... yo soy Stanley..."_  
_"Hi Lee, 'm Rick" he managed to say, before he passed out._  
_He woke up in his cell, a tray with food and a glass of water next to and a quite handsome guy with a worried look on his face bending over him._  
_"You really should eat something, I can see every bone of your body through your shirt, and it's like four sizes too big."_  
_Normally Rick wouldn't tolerate anyone talking to him in that unrespectful, motherly tone, but there was something about this guy that simply made him nod, look down and stare at the food, instead of making some witty comment._  
_"Well, it don't work like that" the guy said, taking the fork from the tray, picking up a noodle with it, and trying to put it in Rick's mouth._  
_"Wa- wa- wait, whatcha- watcha doin' there, Lee?" Rick asked, getting quite uncomfortable now._  
_"Feeding you." was the short and simple answer given, before he simply continued._  
_"Now, open your mouth... There's a good boy!"_  
_"I'm not a dog, Lee!"_  
_Rick really got angry now, what was he thinking, trying to bemother him like that?_  
_"You know, people don't do that." the impudent man continued._  
_"They don't call me Lee. Just Stan. Or Stanley, sometimes. But never Lee."_  
_"Well Lee, good thing is I'm not people, so I call you whatever I like. But now tell me, how come you're in a colombian prison, when you don't speak a word spanish?"_  
_Rick had hoped that this sudden change of topic would distract Lee from the fact that he didn't eat and crossed his arms stubbornly, as Lee still tried to feed him while answering:_  
_"Got banned from most states in the US, Mexico and Cuba, so I thought I could stay here, as they call it, 'learning by doing'. Why do you speak english then?"_  
_"I originally come from Mexico, close to the border, and I had thought of moving to North America once I've finished some p-projects down here."_  
_Shit. Now he'd made him curious, and he'd already said a bit too much._ _What did he do that for?_ _Did Lee just have one of these faces everybody tells their plans to?_ _If so, he'd be in reeeeally big trouble if Lee kept sticking around._  
_The warden's chosen to let Lee share a cell with Rick, as he apparently was the only one who could understand and speak english properly._  
_He wasn't quite sure if he was okay with that, as it not only gave him the opportunity to get to know this handsome stranger better, but also to babble about his plans in front of Lee, which could be fatal, worst case._ _And of course there was the fact that he'd be overlooked while eating and couldn't just throw everything out of the window anymore, as Lee seemed to care about his well being, a flaw his former cellmate thankfully didn't have._  
_But with that motherly, good looking guy that apparently had not only a face everyone talks to, but lso a very strange influence on him, oh well...  
_This would be interesting.__

_____ _

_____ _

_____ _

____

_____ _


	2. Chapter 2

When he was a boy, Rick used to play in these woods all day, every time he visited his grandparents. Back when his gramps could still walk, they used to chase each other for hours and hours, until they got each other or gave up, walking back to their meeting point, an old cave that held many happy and not so happy memories. Here he learned how to make a bonfire when he was eight, and had his first guitar lesson when he was nine, with twelve he lit his first joint and drank his first whiskey there, and Beth... Well, the night they didn't take precautions, that took place in this cave, too. This was where he was going, hoping nobody had moved in since he'd been in prison.  
He was shocked when he realised how much these forests had changed. Not only were the trees taller, no, the whole forest seemed to have completely renewed itself, which was odd, since this wasn't the first time he hadn't visited for a while, and it never seemed to have changed before.  
It took him some time, but he found the cave eventually. It wasn't as big as he remebered it to be, but thankfully still empty, apart from some little birds and a snake he quickly shoved away. He could easily live here for the time being. As soon as he got Lee back, they would have to move though, as it would be impossible for both of them to fit into the cave, but that was a matter for another time, and anyways, didn't Lee mention a car or a vehicle of some sort?  
He wasn't sure anymore, the whole prison time seemed so far away now, more like a dream than reality, even though he only got released a few hours ago.

_"Okay Rick, I have no idea why you're doing this, if you have a real and proper reason for this or simply hate yourself, but this has to stop. I will put an end to this self-destructing behaviour!"_  
_It was their second day together, and apparently, Lee had enough of him refusing to eat anything._  
_"I mean, why are you doing this? I know this food isn't exactly some delicious gourmet-shit, but you're killing yourself this way! Did you already forget what happened last time you went for a walk? You can talk of luck that you don't have to do the jogging for the next few weeks! I mean... why don't you just eat?"_  
_This was the first time Rick had really seen him angry. All red in his face and this stern, but still worried look on his face. He did look quite hot in this position, but Rick better saved that thought for another time. He tried to calm himself down, and took on a serious face, before he started talking._  
_"D-did they tell you why I'm here, Lee?"_  
He looked into the other's eyes, who now slowly shook his head, face full of concern now, before he continued his story.  
"I produced and dealt whith a lot of chemical drugs. I never did any of them, only smoked or drank in the beginning. But well, I rose quite high, was one of the major dealers of this area, so I didn't return to my home in Mexico after the holidays. I started having some meetings with the other bosses, and when you're the only one not doing cocaine in the room, things might just get a bit awkward so I... got it over with. Didn't really enjoy it at first, only did it to blend in, but well... It went wrong pretty quick. I only was 15 at that time, after all. When I got caught, I was r-reeeaaally deep in the sh-shit. But well, at least I only have to stay here for a few months more, they h-have to let me go before I'm 18. So yeah, I'm basically on some r-really cold turkey right now."  
The longer he thought about his past, the closer he got to tearing up, but he couldn't show weakness, not here, not now. He used to silently cry himself to sleep the first few weeks, but it has gotten better by now. The fact that Lee made him so depressive and weak again terrified him. He just managed shoving his emotions into the imaginary corner of his mind, and he seriously wasn't ready to let them occupy his thoughts and thereby his actions again. They made him unproductive and weak, and he was sure that he wouldn't have survived prison this long if he hadn't stopped feeling after the first two months.  
Lee had quietly sat on his bench while he told him his story, so Rick nearly jumped when he felt a strong, but still soft hand on his shoulder, slowly patting him, as if he wasn't sure if trying to comfort him had been a good idea after all.

_____ _

At the back of the cave was a wall full of numbers and letters. It was here where his grandpa took him, to teach him how to write and read. He wrote his first formula on these exact walls. It was nothing of interest, only what water is made of and what happened, when it boiled.  
Suddenly he remembered all these happy hours he spent with his gramps, spelling words letter by letter, learning the alphabet until his colours were dried out. He had felt like a caveman drawing adventures and legends on the walls of his cave, his home in fact. He never felt as emotionally attached to anything in his life, than he was to this cave at this exact moment.  
Apart from Lee of course.

_"So you have two different c's and n's, and double l's and r's? That's so useless!"_  
_Lee unsuccessfully tried learning spanish. Rick tried to show patience and not to completely go mad at this stupidity._  
_"How often do I have to repeat myself, they're completely different letters! They only look the same, but they sound so different, it definitely should be this way!"_  
_"But why not just make it an exception? Why put it in the alphabet, so it freaks everyone else out?"_  
_"My dad used to say, the fact that the english alphabet is so much shorter that ours is proof that the gringos are even dumber than they look."_  
_"Well, your dad's an idiot."_  
_"Yeah."_  
_This short and simple answer made Lee, who expected a big comeback from the master of rhetorics, stop. Why would he say this?_  
_"Hey, did something happen between you two, or what is it? I mean, it's not like you have to tell me if you don't want to, but it usually helps, and I think you can trust me, it's not like I could tell anybody else about it, even if I wanted to, so..."_  
_Rick simply shrugged._  
_"It's not like it's important or anything, I mean I didn't get raped or something like that, we just, well, never got along, that's all. He used to hate the gringos, so we weren't supposed to learn english and everything. I only learned it, because I used to visit my grandparents every year, and my grandma was an english teacher. They both hate me now, though. You know, all this drug business in their basement nearly made my granddad go to prison, too."_  
_"Oh man, that sucks. But if it's any consolation, my parents threw me out when I was seventeen, so I guess we could start a support group for people with shitty parents."_  
"Ok, so what did you do?"  
"Doesn't matter.. Anyways, so it's a, be, ce, che, de, e, efe,..."  
"There's another reason why my dad didn't like me."  
Lee stopped. Could it be, that...? But no, now what would be the odds of this happening?  
"I once brought a boy home."  
There it was, out at last. Rick was afraid how Lee'd react to this, but at the same time, it was good to finally be on the same page.  
Lee wanted to thank heaven for that, but still, he had to be a hundred percent sure, otherwise he could make things reaaallyyyy awkward between them...  
"And?"  
"And what? Are you expecting me to tell you the details? We fucked, Lee, and my dad heard us. That's why I live with my grandparents."  
"So you're gay?"  
"Not exactly. You see, I like both."  
"Oh. Okay."  
"This didn't stop him from beating two fourteen year old's half too death, tho."  
Lee didn't know how to respond to this.


End file.
